He's Dead

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January 2012

My ex's ex

My ex’s ex-boyfriend inviting me for a bbq party. Eversince I’m with my ex. I’m seeing her ex too. There’s no hate between us both. We’re friends and he’s my closest friend’s cousin.

Saye buat2 tak tahu je semua kisah ex saye tu. Saya suka tanya2 kat die soalan bebalik. Saje nak test tahap kejujurannya. Memang betui la gadis Scorpio ni secretive. Saya memang suka buat2 tak tahu. Hehe.

Her ex-boyfriend knows me better anyway. Oh yea, I’m with him almost all night before my ex and I broke up. Err, ada yang cakap aku jalan sama bini2 lain? Nih, banyak nih orang ku jumpa malam2. Nak buat cerite? Belum kena tibai mulut, belum mau diam. Perempuan mkjb memang mulut diorang terbabar. Mulut terbabar takpe, asal puki diorang tak terbabar, okay lah tue. Kalau semuanya terbabar, pigi mampos la. Semua mahu main tibai cakap je. Yang menangung kena ucap playboy dan penipu siape? Aku tau. Kalau lelaki tahu lah diorang aku siape, kalau perempuan apa diorang tau? Fikiran karut. Lepastu ha, dah la percaya kan rumors. Nak mengata orang pulak tu. Haish. So, perempuan mane nakkan saye sekarang? Takde yang guna lah aku nie. Dah busuk di pandangan pompuan. Baru nak kenal sorang pompuan, puii bukan main lekas rumor datang sampai kat diorang.

One thing for sure.
I’m just a TOOL that people love to use.
I’m just a FOOL….
None has shown me the appreciation, only Farred and Mr.K
Nope, not even my mom and my sisters.
I’m just a Usefool Tool. I’m just a fool. I’m a tool. OHHHH.

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Sleep.

I love to sleep. I miss being loved. Sleep doesn’t love me. It’s hard for me to sleep. I have to attend robocon concept designing for 2012 Beijing at 7:45AM

Jan 30, 2012
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Who am I?

Syairazi Bin Sunarto. Named by my father, Sunarto Hj.Seryati. What do I do? I’m still in College. I may wander around Brunei from time to time. I travel from KB to BSB at least two times a day. I still have money flowing. I don’t smoke cigarettes before 9th November 2011. The reason why I started smoking is because I wanted to die. So don’t tell me to stop smoking. Everyday I puff Perillys Menthol which costs BND$8.00 per pack in Brunei.

My looks doesn’t characterize me. I’m much different. I may look stupid most of the time but I can assure you I’m not stupid. I don’t really wear branded clothing. I use T-Shirt and Shorts most of the time. I don’t care about my look. Don’t tell me why, use your common sense. Well, maybe the common sense skills is rarely practiced by most people. I’d just tell you why I do not care about my looks. It is because, I don’t even have intentions to attract any attentions.

I have lots of hobbies. Let me just tell you what I’m interested at. I’m interested in Computers, Gadgets, Electronics, Car Engines, Cars and everything that have 4 wheels. The brand that I’m currently love is Emporio Armani. Cars brand that I love and trust, would be Toyota and Lexus. I’m also interested in Skateboarding, Graphic Designing, Photography and Videography. I was a Photographer, I know I don’t look like one but yeah I really am a Photographer once. I’m also a Videographer once, recorded, edited, directed and applied effects on a short video I made on youtube. Check, Youtube.com/deathseeker86 if you want to. Okay, if you want to know me better just come directly to me and ask. I have many interests and I think it’s too many to mention.

My car is Green, you may say that I don’t want to attract anyone but may I tell you the reason for green is because Nabi’s Favorite… Wait, this is about me. Do I really really really love green? No, I really really really love Red, Black and White and Grey. Why do I love green then? My father, he loves green. My mother, she loves green. They both love green. My father told me that Green was Nabi Muhammad’s Favorite color. Then my father paint his Honda Accord Green. His favorite pattern is Army Pattern. Anything green, it’s his favorite. Oh, yes I’m off track. It’s about me. I love Army Pattern too. Why? Don’t ask why! Read! Read! Read! Because My Father Love Army Pattern. Why do I love everything my father love? It’s because I love what he loved. He’s my idol. He’s my legend.

Am I single? No, I’m not single. I’m in a Relationship. Who’s my Girlfriend? It’s something that I don’t want anyone to know. Good thing that she has few friends and only listens to me. She understands me completely. Respects my decision and I respect her decision. She reads book like I do. She reads newspaper and she wears Tudung. She’s still studying. She’s 18. She’s good at cooking. She can bake too. She loves me. No, we haven’t had sex. We’ll get married and then have sex. We will take care of our children together. I’ll teach them well like my father taught me. I will have lots of money but we will live in basic, normal, and very simple life. I don’t want them get used to expensive appliances and furniture. I don’t care if my house is a wreck, as long as my family is happy. If my wife is not satisfied with the cleanliness of the house, I’d call a team of house cleaning to clean the house fully, that’s the only part where I’ll use the money in the bank. I’ll limit my family usage of $500 per month. Even if it’s difficult, I just have to deal with it. If I can deal with it, my wife must deal with it. We have to tell each other to not take money from the bank. I’ll tell him stories about my father saving his money and how he treat my family once and showed us that money isn’t everything. Sure, we could buy anything we want. It’s only when we award ourselves when we achieved something every month. That’s my father’s style. What? You don’t believe me that I have this kind of girlfriend? So, you think I’m lying? So, you think that this kind of girl doesn’t exist? Oh come on. Deal with it.

At this point, I feel alone. Haha. Okay, I’ll stop writing and start crying like a monkey. What? You think monkey don’t cry? What? You think I’m lying? WHAT?? You guys are always right. I’m always wrong. I give up….. NOT! Haha. I just want to be alone.

What? You want me to talk to my girlfriend because I told you guys that she’s understanding? She got college to attend, she sleeps at 9PM everynight. She takes good care of her self. She doesn’t need me. She don’t even want me to need her. She understands love like I do. She understands me always creeping to her house making sure she’s at home. She understands me when she’s out with her mom, I spy on her with my sunglasses which she obviously knew it was me. Yes, I tell you that this girlfriend of mine exist. I’d show you her picture if you want but she’s too beautiful that whenever my iPhone snaps a photo of her the iPhone falls to sleep and dreamed about her.

Okay, I’m off track again. Maybe it’s because I constantly typed this text and haven’t stopped for 5 minutes and I’m tired and I’m sleepy. Toodles~

Jan 30, 2012
The Dump Truck Story

Beth Gordon, her parents bought her a teddy bear when she was 6 years old. She really loved the teddy bear and can’t live without it. When she was 16, she still sleeps with the same teddy bear and she can’t sleep when the teddy bear isn’t with her. So, she usually sleeps at her own room which is pretty comfortable for her. By the time she was 19, she seems to be busy with her studies and her part time job. She went home breathless every single day. She even sleeps on the couch in front of the living room’s television.

Beth’s life seems to be better at the age of 21, she became independent. She starts to live on the apartment provided by her college. She packed everything including her teddy bear. In the car that her father drove, her mom kept advising her not to choose the wrong friend. She constantly nods her head while looking at the teddy bear facing her. She had so much memories with the teddy bear. It’s the only thing that Beth could cry to and even talk to, though she knows that the teddy bear isn’t talking back.

After a week has passed in her college, she saw a good looking boy of her range of age. The boy wears T-Shirt, Denim Jeans and his body is quite buff. All she did was sit and stare to him all day. The next week, she saw him again on the same time and day of the week. Beth would just sit there and kept staring to the boy that’s talking to a group three girls and laughing. She didn’t want to be noticed and kept looking away when she felt obvious for looking the boy of her dreams.

Then the next day, the boy came to her and said a simple “hi” to her. The boy told Beth that he knew Beth was looking at him most of the time. The boy introduced himself to Beth and said “Hey, My name is Deyrick”. Beth replied and smiled with a blush on her face “Beth Gordon”.

The two of them talked to each other the whole afternoon and Deyrick asked her out for a date just to get to know her better. Beth went out that night with Deyrick for a Dinner and Movie. Beth and Deyrick get along well and went home by her curfew at 10PM. They gave each other’s phone number and they said goodbye with a simple handshake. As Beth went to her room, she kept thinking about how sweet Deyrick was and how romantic for everything that he did to her. While holding her teddy bear, Beth thinks about Deyrick and finally fell asleep.

A month has passed and they both were finally a couple. Beth and Deyrick seems happy together and they both were the talk of the College. They didn’t really care what people said and she tend to keep Deyrick away from listening to rumors. She also learned that Deyrick was a sensitive guy which is more sensitive than a girl should be and he is also romantic most of the time.

The Second semester for Beth starts, and Deyrick was still owned by Beth. They loved each other so much and they met every single day. They lived their life like it’s only them both living in this world. One day, Beth heard that Deyrick was with another girl the other night after sending Beth to the apartment. At first, she didn’t believe what the rumors mentioned. As people starts to mention the girl’s name, Beth started to be angry and tried so hard to ignore. That afternoon, she met Deyrick and asked him “Are you seeing other girl?”. Deyrick then replied “Nope, I don’t. What’s wrong?”. Beth answered, “Nothing is wrong, I just heard you went out with Jane”. Deyrick was shocked and said “What? Who’s Jane?”. Beth changes the topic and they went for dinner and talked about something else.

On the next day, Beth’s friend came and told her “Have you asked Deyrick about Jane?”. Beth replied while reading her book “Hmm, I think so. He said he doesn’t know any Jane. Should I believe that Amy?”. Amy then advised her to spy on Deyrick and Amy is willing to help Beth.

Later that Afternoon, Beth met Deyrick at the Park and talked about College. Right after their conversation ends, she took Deyrick’s phone and look for proof. She saw one number that’s unnamed and directly asked Deyrick who’s number is it. Deyrick replied “My Friend’s number, he wanted me to help him up the other night”. Beth was pumped up with anger and said “I don’t believe you, why didn’t you tell me that you helped your friend the other night?”. Deyrick tried to explain but Beth was very angry that everything Deyrick says sounds untrue to her.

Deyrick went home and tried so hard to beg for Beth’s forgiveness. Deyrick wanted to tell the truth about him selling drugs to a girl name Jane and he didn’t want to which sounds really worst than what Beth thought. Beth went to sleep without holding her teddy bear and woke up the next morning with still anger labeled on her face. Her friends told her that they got proof saying that Deyrick really did met Jane that night and she was really over her limit of anger. On the same time as she saw the proof, she marched on to Deyrick and said to him “You’re a liar. You lied to me. You said you didn’t know who Jane was and what is this?” She showed the picture of him on a restaurant with Jane. On Deyrick’s mind, “Whoah, it’s good that this kind of picture was taken and not the picture of me handing Jane the drug”. Beth told him that she didn’t trust him anymore and she just wanted to be alone.

Beth went to her apartment and threw her bag and files everywhere. She wasn’t in the mood and she ripped her pillow off and she ripped the teddy bear’s head. She looked herself on the mirror and she feels awful. She went out from the apartment and just walk her anger off. She slept at Amy’s apartment and talked about how she hates Deyrick.

As the sun rose, it was a Saturday morning and she walked to her apartment and realized her room was a mess. She cleaned up her room and threw the damaged stuffs she made last night. She called Amy over and asked for help. Amy came and cleaned her room, they talked about Deyrick again and Amy said that Beth should leave Deyrick. Beth agreed and simply texting Deyrick “It’s over”. Amy asked Beth if there will be a dump truck coming. Beth answered with a forced smile “Yes, it’ll be here around 7 at night most of the time. The sound of the dump truck annoyed me every week.”

Deyrick wasn’t prepared for a break up, all he did was sit and stare at his phone for hours thinking if it was just a dream or perhaps a nightmare. He realized it isn’t either one, so he went out on the park and starts shouting like an insane man on the loose.

People started to realized that Deyrick was no more seen in town. That night Beth went out for a party with Amy and most students in the same college knew that Beth and Deyrick was no more a couple. Beth heard from most of her friends that Deyrick is no longer living in this town and probably will be going to a different college.

Beth felt wrong and doesn’t feel like partying. She went to her apartment and thought what she did was wrong. She feels alone, and she’s looking for her teddy bear. The teddy bear wasn’t found and she realized that she threw away her teddy bear and it was on a black plastic bag that Amy threw on the dumpster. She went downstairs and ran to the dumpster. As she was about to reach the dumpster, she saw a dump truck accelerating from the dumpster area. Beth shouted and ran to the dump truck and nothing she has gained. She went to her apartment and cried all night. She blamed everything on Deyrick. She blamed everything but not her self. She blamed the dump truck for taking away her teddy bear she’s been with for years. She blamed Jane for taking Deyrick away.

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